Airplane Sex

milehighWe all think about it or at least I do, especially every time I fly- which these days is very often.  Some people, when you bring the topic up say it cant be done anymore, with small bathrooms, or because of flight attendance.  One person even claimed that the security issue, like air marshalls or monitoring, would somehow infringe on our ability to get our mile high on.

However, I am discovering the real problem for Mile High Enthusiasts and first timers…..

Why are there no fuckable people on airplanes?

Is it just me thinking this?  Sometimes, a lot of the time, its really a no-fuckability issue, like, sure you may be willing to drop your standards a bit for the excitement and cool factor of fucking on an airplane- but NO ONE is that lax in their standards

This is me every time I fly:

I get to the gate area early, earlier than normal, say 45 min before boarding starts, at least.  I park myself visible tot he passersby but enough from anyone else that may already be there.  I bring out the magazine, fruit, and drink approach- NOT the MP3 player which says I cant and dont want to hear you.  And I keep a weather eye out for any passing fair….doing my best to lick my fingers after everything I eat, and adjust my bra as best I can.

As I scan the patrons of many of these international airports, I read their faces for any sexual energy…and I see nothing.  At bars, the street, its so thick you can tell people are up for it even if they arent trying.  But apparently travel must really stress people out to the point of distraction that even when they are safely at their gate with time to spare cant even send out a few unwitting signals.

Once Im on the plane, Ill watch everyone wak by me, for how they look at me or other girls on the plane.  But people are too concerned about getting to their seat and putting their stuff down.  I mean, you’ve got a few hours to kill, and your stuff is going to get put away eventually, PLAN AHEAD PEOPLE!

Obviously, your best bet is to be seated next to a viable mate, and that gives you the inside edge….but thats never going to happen, so the next best thing is to make friendly before the flight with some sort of gesture, if not a conversation, so you can transition on the plane and almost pretend that you knew each other before, to switch seats or pull to the back of the plane for a convo.

I imagine it everytime:

I walk down the aisle towards the bathroom, and I catch some eye contact with someone, and I glance back.  He gives me some sort of signal, so I smile, nod, take a few quick steps, and turn around abruptly to give him yet a direct stare over my shoulder…and continue on.  I go into the bathroom, slide my panties down, maybe give a little wipe down with a wet paper towel, sit my ass in the sink, tuck my knees up, and unlock the door…then he slides in, standing, I unbotton his pants and let them drop to the floor.  He fucks me hard, with metal bath fixtures digging into me on all sides, and my shoes pointing straight up, with the heels digging into the wall behind his head.  The best part will be if there is any turbulence, and you can feel your stomach drop, and the rush of adrenaline as you try to keep your balance and your momentum.

Thats what I am talking about.

So I propose, fellow travelers, or would be travelers, that we devise (or ENLIGHTE ME) as to the system, signal, handshake, secret color, hanky code, SOMETHING s that sex addicts and airplane dwellers like myself can FUCK YOU without problem

Because really, it needs to happen.

Otherwise, Im going to start posting my itineraries on here, and no one wants that.

~ by Klawdya Rothschild on February 3, 2009.

2 Responses to “Airplane Sex”

  1. stewardesses though now pay more attention to this casue of terrorist things though so 2 people inthe bathroom at once wont happen anymore really

  2. This makes me think. I guess next time I’m going to fly omewhere I’ll keep my eyes more open 😉

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